Posted by sleepygirl on September 28, 2005, at 10:31:22
In reply to Re: physical affection » sleepygirl, posted by JenStar on September 28, 2005, at 2:33:59
Hi JenStar,
No we don't have any religious or medical concerns that would keep us from having sex.
We have become a fraternal, friendly couple.
I have spoken to him about this on a number of occasions and he gets extraordinarily defensive.
This is a guy I started dating when I was 17 (I am now 31). He has been my only really serious relationship. In the beginning we had lots of sex, but he's never been really warm. In the beginning I think it was what I needed. I had a very difficult childhood/adolescence.We've been engaged about 6 years now. I put it on hold about 5 years ago because I didn't feel ready, needed more time in therapy to work out stuff - I could barely communicate.
I've asked him to go to counseling with me a couple of times, and again he gets really defensive and feels threatened. He hasn't really pushed for the engagement to move forward to marriage, and I don't think that I, yet again, can be the one to make that happen.
So we've been in this limbo for quite a long time. Nothing's happening, I love him, I REALLY do, but I don't want to beg anyone to be closer to me, to do what it takes for us to move forward, it feels pathetic and desperately sad. So we remain companions - and hence the reason for my post.
As I read this I realize what a tremendous bummer this is. I apologize for being such a downer. :-( I will find a way...to do something.
Thanks,
sleepygirl
poster:sleepygirl
thread:560409
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050814/msgs/560615.html