Posted by cockeyed on July 27, 2005, at 20:01:53
In reply to My husband keeps losing control :-(, posted by pinkeye on July 16, 2005, at 17:12:05
hi, pinkeye...you don't know me, I don't know you. Most of the responders, I guess, are women.
I'm a guy. It's not about "losing" control, it's it's about "imposing" control. I wish I could say something that would make sense, make things better. But until you stand up for yourself and make him understand that he is not merely "losing control", he's committing a crime. I grew up in a family where hitting was a fact of life...I got hit, my sister got hit.
But my mother warned my father that if he ever hit her she would retaliate with a "frying pan"
Sounds funny to me now.
But you have the right to "assert" control when He's losing it. Ask most guys and they'll admit...they are pissed off and usually their wife is physically weaker. This is, unfortunately, a darwinian world. If your husband loves you and you love him, then you must make him understand that he will pay for his assaults. You can contact public agencies, even as the cops for advice. You don't have to make a complaint...simply inquire about your rights.
Again, I apologize, I'm a guy and I learned that my behavior was unacceptable. I learned to
"gain control" I learned that just because I'm in a nasty mood...I have no right to take that out on a loved one. It's not easy. But believe me, we don't "lose control" we choose to abuse control. A big difference. someone who truly
does lose control needs police attention. I am very serious about this.
I wonder what other guys have to say about this? Just because one is pissed off, that does not mean "losing control". I speak from experience, and I have to learn again and again.
I have no right to get violent simply because I'm offended. Sorry, if I'm a bit over my head, but you should not give your husband the excuse.
he's not Losing control, He's imposing it, abus-ing it and you and he has no right. What the hell would he do if you "lost control" and had him arrested? Cockeyed.
poster:cockeyed
thread:531323
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050724/msgs/534459.html