Posted by Tamar on June 21, 2005, at 13:49:15
In reply to Re: marriage question, posted by happyflower on June 21, 2005, at 11:57:45
> Can you stay in an emotionless marraige for the sake of your kids. Lead separate lives, like roommates, and find joy in your relationships with others? Is this possiable.
Well, it's possible of course, but what happens if one of you falls in love with someone else? I also think it's not necessarily the best thing for the kids.
> I hate what divorce does to kids and they would miss their dad so much.
Would you definitely have them living with you? You would miss them (and vice versa) if they lived with your husband.
> I love my husband but he refuses to get therapy or couples counceling, so all I can do is work on myself. He isn't a bad guy, but I feel our friendship is no longer there, and my love is slowly dieing. His past baggage was very hard to deal with but now it is his present baggage that I am trying to deal with. How much is enough?
That sounds really tough. Is he any help in dealing with your issues? If not, it's hard to sustain a friendship, let alone love.
If I were you I'd wait before making any decisions. Therapy can make people reconsider their close relationships. But you might find it gets better as therapy progresses.
Have you talked to your T about your husband's unwillingness to do couples counselling? If you are so unhappy as to be thinking about divorce, then you really do need your husband to understand that. And surely counselling is better (and cheaper) than divorce!
Just my two cents, of course.
poster:Tamar
thread:515037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/516627.html