Posted by Tamar on June 18, 2005, at 18:24:36
In reply to marriage question, posted by happyflower on June 18, 2005, at 15:29:28
> Do you ever feel like you love your sig. other but you no longer "like" them anymore. Have you ever felt like you have both have changed and that if you had to choose a partner now in life, that maybe you would want to choose someone else?
I felt that way much more when I was very depressed than I do now.
I felt my husband had no idea who I really was, and I thought if I were choosing a partner now I'd choose someone quite different (more communicative, less stubborn... oh, someone more like my therapist!)
It's true that we have both changed since we met. And for a long time I felt he had most of the power in the marriage and I didn't want him to see my vulnerability.
Happily for me, when I started allowing myself to be more vulnerable with him he responded very well.
But that's just me... I don't know how it is for you.
One thing I would mention is that doing therapy seems to strike at the core of close relationships. If your feelings about your marriage were entirely unaffected by therapy you might wonder if you were doing it right!
The important thing about individual therapy is to focus on yourself; if you find your marriage needs some work then maybe couples therapy would be a good idea. I don't know what it would be like to do both at the same time; maybe couples therapy could come later if you felt you needed it?
But I have to say I came through therapy feeling much more positive about my marriage. For a while it seemed to be going the other way, but ultimately it worked out pretty well.
Do you want to elaborate about your marriage? If not, that's OK of course.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:515037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/515109.html