Posted by Uncle Lou on June 18, 2005, at 17:42:34
In reply to marriage question, posted by happyflower on June 18, 2005, at 15:29:28
I think a positive, loving, optimistic, attitude towards those we love can do wonders for regaining those 'lost' feelings. Try this.Make a gratitude list of all the good things in your life and all the positive things about your partner. Try to read it every day and add to it whenever something positive, no matter how big or small, happens.
Make a point every day to make that person feel special. Thing of things to do on your own as well as ask, "if there is something I can do to make you feel special, please let me know." There's nothing wrong with asking, none of us can read minds.
Observe the behavior of other people in troubled or unhappy relationships. Don't judge, but identify those undesireable behaviors that apply to you. Try to be aware of them and make a conscience effort to change them in yourself.
Try changing your 'glasses' when looking at the other person. Sometimes we get so used to seeing the same things by habit, we miss other wonderful things that are going on because we don't even bother looking. If your vision is not as clear as it could be, you'll never find out till you try different glasses on. (I never realized I was depressed my entire life till I took anti-depressents. I no longer suffer from depression and I'm off the medication)
The good feelings we get from treating someone else special can be contagious. Don't do this stuff with any expectations of something YOU want in return, but keep your mind and heart open to those gestures that come back. Accept those things graciously.
The ONLY person we can change is ourselves. Sometimes a small shift in perpective and attitude can make major changes in the way we perceive things. Take responsibility of making positive changes in yourself and see what happens. The worst thing that will happen is you become a better person to be with.
poster:Uncle Lou
thread:515037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/515085.html