Posted by Miss Honeychurch on May 26, 2005, at 8:38:36 [reposted on May 28, 2005, at 17:43:53 | original URL]
In reply to Ever wonder about monogomy?, posted by Jazzed on May 26, 2005, at 4:17:33
I think fantasy is completely normal and healthy in a relationship. I certainly don't expect my husband to fantasize about me all the time, just as I do not fantasize about him all the time.
As far as monogamy, I think it's a hard thing to achieve. And perhaps a pretty unrealistic standard. We have set such impossibly hard rules on ourselves, all stemming basically from Victorianism where this whole ideal of marrying for true love came into being and the idea of "soulmates." etc.
But, I think I may hold a pretty unorthodox view of monogamy and fidelity for a woman. While I think it is hard for a woman to become sexually involved with someone without emotion or falling in love, I think men can do it just fine. IS this sexist? I think it's just realistic.
So, while I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with anyone other than my husband, I would not be shocked at finding out about an infidelity.
Now, woulld I WANT to find out about one? Absolutely not. And I believe if I ever cheated on my husband, I would never tell him about it just to cleanse my soul.
so, in short, I think monogamy, while it is certainly acheivable, is not necessarily natural.
poster:Miss Honeychurch
thread:504323
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050505/msgs/504327.html