Posted by Susan47 on May 4, 2005, at 18:36:27
In reply to Re: ReFeeling sexual, Me too (whine) » Susan47, posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 13:47:22
Silly and playful is good if it's done with passion. I think my T wasn't passionate, I think maybe he's not a passionate person, but I made him that way in my own mind because I am, you know? It's the passion I fell in love with, isn't that funny? That I created it then I fell in love with it. I am an extremely passionate person, but afraid that I do live it in every way possible, I do. I don't go out making an *ss of myself every day or anything, and there's lots I'd like to do but haven't done yet, but anything I do if I can't put myself completely into it I stop. I start and stop a lot of things. Most things, really. Because the passion in me is channelled into some very basic life experiences. The animal in my nature is close to the surface, and it fights my intellect all the time. Constantly, in fact.
It's a huge struggle for me. And why would I choose unattainable men as objects of my passion? Why??? Is this chance, what happened? Or a pattern? Could this man really be maybe very ordinary, an ordinary everyday joe type of guy? If he weren't sitting in that seat, talking to me in that voice, looking at me in that way, wouldn't he just be another person, like any other therapist I've ever seen? I have seen a few BTW. And pdocs as well. GP's, you name it, no man has reached so deeply into my soul and taken out so much feeling.
It's not right. To walk away from that, to do that to someone, then walk away.
It's like being violated, it's a violation, it's a crime, a break and enter. A moving violation, a hit and run.
poster:Susan47
thread:492110
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050325/msgs/493820.html