Posted by alexandra_k on May 1, 2005, at 19:10:46
In reply to Re: ReFeeling sexual, Me too (whine), posted by Susan47 on May 1, 2005, at 17:01:42
> I haven't ever been truly in love with anyone before, can you believe, not even my children? Not until after this last male therapist of mine, my god. Somehow, and I know this sounds sappy and has a fairytale quality, okay, but somehow the only way I can express it now is he wove a spell. Maybe not realizing it, maybe that's his magic, or maybe he does practice his art, on people like me. That must be his success.
But that isn't genuine love Susan. He 'wove a spell'. I reckon that most of the 'spell' and the 'magic' is that you really didn't know him as a person. He was removed from you in a way - because he was your therapist. You only saw him in therapist mode. A mode where he was supposed to be focused and attentive to you. He probably isn't like that so very much IRL. If you met him in a different context IRL (and never had him as a t) then while you may still be attracted to him I reckon that most of the magic would be gone. It just wouldn't be there.
But when you just get that little bit of their being attentive and focused to you - well... That is where the transference and the idealisation kicks in and then the fantasy can take off...
Thats what I reckon anyway.
Maybe that is part of the magic?I am fond of fantasy myself.
But RL, the fantasy can never be sustained IRL.
Disappointment, let down, - when the reality doesn't live up to the fantasy.
Enjoy the fantasy.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:492110
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050325/msgs/492463.html