Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2005, at 23:43:37
In reply to Re: Sex again. Sigh. » Tamar, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2005, at 23:31:52
I'll readily agree that the emotional differences contribute to the problem.
Not that I'd have any less of a problem with the physical aspect of sex, I think that's so deeply ingrained I just as well consider it hard wired.
But I think if my feelings about my husband were unconflicted, the greater degree of love and desire to give would make the entire experience more tolerable.
I feel horrible saying that. He's a really good man. He provides for us well. He's a hands on father. He does whatever he can to make sure that things run smoothly for me.
He's really terrific.
But he can make me feel so very bad about myself so very often. Like water on rock. How can I love everything about him but the way he makes me and my son feel about ourselves? Which is something he grasps periodically but promptly puts out of his mind and refuses to change. Because it's more important to him to make sure we behave ourselves in the way he wishes us to behave than it is...
Oh well. He's as hard on himself as he is on us, and I reap many rewards from that aspect of it.
I'm very lucky to have him, and I could never make it without him, on any level.
poster:Dinah
thread:474222
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050325/msgs/486792.html