Posted by ed_uk on December 18, 2004, at 14:17:33
In reply to Very alone. My story. I dont feel normal, posted by adam canada on December 16, 2004, at 0:08:00
>I am 21. I dont have anyone and I havent trully ever had anyone. I used to be fairly happy yet alone then mental illness from a toxic drug (accutane) crept into me.
Hi Adam,
I was also very touched by what you said. You were speaking from your heart. I'm 20 and I've never really had anyone either. I know you're not happy today but I honestly believe that one day you will be, your post revealed a side to you which will be very attractive to a lot of women. I also took Accutane. Shortly after I finished the treatment I had a mental breakdown. I don't know if it was related to the Accutane. I have had mental health problems all my life.
>I also have little interest in sex which is a shame. On one med vivarint I was a sexual maniac. I wanted it all the time. I would pleasure myself many countless times a day. Vivarint was really something else to be sure. Sex isn't too important but during a time of extreme depression it was good to be occupied with something that was enjoyable.
I answered your earlier post about obtaining viloxazine but I don't think you ever replied. Did you see it? The information might be useful to you. Did viloxazine help your depression? If it did it could be really helpful for you to take it again.
>But generally much of my relationship problems stem from being very different from everyone. I dont feel normal. It is hard to explain and it often makes me want to forget about it. I am straight and I love women. But I feel extremely feminine on the inside sometimes. Looking back on some discussions/letters I wrote to people in the past etc it amazed me how feminine I have been on certain instances. I dont feel comfortable in my own skin. I dont necessarly act feminine just my emotional side. I hope you people can understand what I mean.
I've always felt that I was differnt to other people. In the past I was 'picked on' at school because I stood out as being unusual. I have grown to like myself more as I've got older, I hope that you can do the same. Like you, I can be quite feminine in some ways. Unlike you, I'm gay- I've never told anyone on babble before!
>Women like manly guys.
Some women do but many don't. You sound like you want a long term relationship, many of the women who are looking for a partner will be attracted to your feminine side.
>Wanting someone to love, take care of, appreciate, someone to be happy with and the greatest joy would be to see them be happy. For your day to light up when you see that beautiful smile in their face. Because that is the most beautiful thing in the world. For the one you love so dearly to be happy and knowing you are happy with them. I just wish I had a woman to love.
That was such a beautiful thing to write. I know you will find a woman who loves you. She will be lucky to have met someone as caring as yourself.
>But aside from intimate relationships I just wish I could have a friend. I dont have any real friends.
Psycho-babble is great for people who don't have many friends. There are so many lovely people here. When you have social anxiety making friends can be really hard but once you get comfortable with a person it becomes so much easier. Do you have any hobbies like music? I used to play in an orchestra and it was a fantastic way to meet friends with similar interests.
Kind Regards,
Ed.
poster:ed_uk
thread:430143
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041207/msgs/431284.html