Posted by 64bowtie on November 21, 2004, at 3:17:26
In reply to Re: Be wary...., posted by justyourlaugh on November 19, 2004, at 9:30:05
> "be wary of approval as a measure of your caring for a significant other."....
><<< Sorry about the enigmatic presentation... What I was cleverly talking about is the dicotomy of approval-vs-love... What I suggest is you ask yourself the question, "Is my caring for my significant other in any way conditional? Have I ever hated my significant other? Have I ever watched anyone else loving someone over time, so I have a good example to reflect on?"
Love vs approval is no trivial matter. Kids are only capable approval. Not their fault, just not fully developed. Love is more complicated that arousal. In fact, unconditional love is a redundent statement. Love is already unconditional.
Approval is a feeling. Love, however, is a mix of feelings, logic, and intentions. Kids are incapable of true logic, and can only guess at intentions; intentions are toooo abstract for kids. (Please don't mistake reasoning ability for logic. True logic is an advanced reasoning process who's onset begins by age 12 or 13 most commonly.)
Now for the tough part. Grown-ups who drag their childhood into adulthood, may not be capable of love either. This is not meant to offend anyone. I suggest that this is only a general obsevation. If anyone can gleen insight out of this, be my guest.
Rod
poster:64bowtie
thread:417008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041118/msgs/418520.html