Posted by just plain jane on November 14, 2004, at 1:45:40
In reply to Re: Where is The One? » just plain jane, posted by sunny10 on November 12, 2004, at 8:46:57
Endorphin rushes... ahhhh, yes!!! ;) So, you never saw my post about the 25,000 rpm Chiropractic Massage Genie, eh? (big TOOTHY grin)
and I couldn't help but laugh -- your undoubtedly unintentional pun:
"But if you WANT that, deep inside... " (snickering again)
Truly, I appreciate your input. It would be great to be able to tell you, "yeah, it's true, the lovers of my past have really SUCKED" (pun not intended) BUT, such is not the case. Some of them have been considerate, aiming to please, and as far as physical pleasure, A#1. And most have been happy to get their rocks off and pretty much oblivious to the fact that it was a real live woman with whom they were supposed to be making love, instead of their old blow-up doll they used to fnck.
And, for my part and for what it was worth, I have sometimes physically enjoyed those physical pleasures, but always felt, emotionally, dirty, used (sometimes by my own self), like the sex was the only reason they were around, and just a general overall "what the heII is this for?"
Probably a great deal of it is my upbringing by a woman who made it clear that all men wanted was to have a woman barefoot, pregnant, and chained to the stove, while he was out fusking around. That's an extremely nutshelled summary. Being the youngest, and four years behind the next older, schoolwise, Mom had me to herself those first four years, and, suffice it to say, she behaved very poorly with me.
So, I enjoy sharing much more emotional pleasure with my family, that being my son and our numerous dogs, horses and cat, than I have experienced in all the "romance" in my life.
Right now, I am content with this. I cannot predict the future.
I still experience those pheromonal exchanges when there's a mutual attraction, and I enjoy them for what they are, hormonal/psychological "tastes". Not something I desire to indulge in further, the "taste" was the best part and everything else would be downhill from there.
One aspect of my PTSD is from being violently sexually assaulted at nineteen, but the lack of pleasure didn't begin there. What began there was the downright horror, the extreme physical pain and the never-ending replay, "get it over, get off, get away from me", which I had to cover up with "normal" behavior in my relationships.
It was only two years ago, twenty years after the attack, that I finally broke down and started dealing with it. And, in the process, with all these other aspects of sexuality.
Another chapter synopsized.
Thank you for you wishes.
I get some pretty good rushes running POWER equipment, by the way... chainsaw, limb saw, weed eaters, pretty much anything I can rip the shyt out of something with or make metal melt.
Great Grin
just plain up-too-late jane
poster:just plain jane
thread:413584
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041106/msgs/415689.html