Posted by AdaGrace on October 13, 2004, at 12:49:00
In reply to Re: Sorry, posted by dazedandconfused on October 13, 2004, at 11:53:22
The things you say remind me of how I feel. I don't see me ever really getting over this. I don't know if my heart will ever mend. I truely thought and still think that he is my soul mate. We come from such different worlds, such different lifestyles, such different backgrounds, and such different areas. In my heart I don't care about all of that. I don't care about his faults, I love him completely. I have never loved someone that way. He said the same thing. Did he mean it? I thought so. Now I don't know. A friend of mine said maybe he did. Someone on here said he didn't want my baggage. I realize that. IF I was free would he still want me? Not sure anymore. He says he loves the one he is with. Does he? Maybe. I told him I didn't believe someone could love more than one person at the same time. He didn't agree, others may not as well, but that is how I feel. I love him completely. I just couldn't give him what he wanted and needed at the time. Said he would wait, but he couldn't. Even though he hurts me time and time again, and now has shattered my heart, I still love him comepletely. Isn't that sad. I see it as a sad sad existence. Really Sad. Emotional Breakdown. That is what I am in. I don't see tomorrow, because I can't get through today. Everything I told him about how I felt was the truth, I told him that time and time again. I never played a game about my feelings for him. Now I wonder because of lack of contact that he did. I wonder if anything he said was the truth. That is what hurts the most right now. It hurts so much to think that he said what he said and didn't mean it and I was just too stupid not to know better. I feel foolish. I feel broken. People say it will get better, but I don't see it. I read books about how to let go, and I just can't make it work. If things were wonderful at home, maybe. Maybe I could see the validity of my marriage. But they aren't. My therapist wants me to not think about the other guy or my husband but to work on myself. That's pretty hard to do when all I can think about is him. Does he know how bad he has hurt me? Maybe. Does he know how very much I love him? Yes, I think he does. Does it matter? NO.
poster:AdaGrace
thread:402596
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/402673.html