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Why Does It Seem Men Are The Callous Ones?

Posted by AdaGrace on October 13, 2004, at 9:28:18

It seems to me, and please feel free to corrent me if I am wrong, but it seems to me that men seem to be much more callous than women. It seems so easy for them to be selfish and not think they are. It seems so easy for them to move on to someone else and not care how they have hurt the one they left behind. "Is no word from you the best that you can do?" A line from another of my favorite songs by Hal Ketchum. I don't remember the name of the song, and no Dr. Bob I don't really want to link it to Amazon, sorry, don't feel much like sharing sad songs this morning.

I left work yesterday very early, got the flu from thankless hubby. Went home to find a note that he was out, would be back later on in the evening, and would bring home supper.

I layed in bed all day between bathroom runs. He called at 9, talked to the kids. My daughter swears she told him I was very sick. Still, no supper was brought home, and it was after 12 when he came strolling in. Too bad there was no bile left in me.

I just don't understand how men can be so self serving while we are supposed to never be sick, and when we are either physically or emotionally sick, they want to know why we can't just get over it quicker.

I don't understand how a man can tell a woman that she is the most important thing in his life, that he loves her with ALL his heart, that he will wait for her forever, that she is the reason he is alive, that she is his angel, that she is beautiful, that he will NEVER want or love someone else, that she is and will always be the only one for him, and then just leave for another.

Forever...Forever...Forever..........

God there were so many things he said to me that were special and keep repeating themselves in my head.......I don't understand how someone can say those things to a woman and then begin a relationship with someone else and not tell me. No word, just moved on. Then when word did come, it was half-hearted, half-baked, half-said. How can men be so mean? I would have given up everything to be with him, everything, life, home, marriage, kids..............I loved him that much. Why do men say those things and then seem to not have ever meant them. Why can't men be men and say what needs to be said. and do it in person or at least on the phone......why can't they say, "I love you, but I don't think this is working out for us." or " I just didn't really love you like I thought I did"

No word from you is so mean. Why are you so mean? Why could't we part as friends? Why does it have to be this way? Why does home have to be worse now that I don't have you to turn to? Why did I believe you when you said those things? Why am I the one who had a nervouse breakdown, and you went on your merry way with someone else.....who just happens to look somewhat like me and act somewhat like me. Did you replace me with another me? What do your friends think? You told me they liked me and hoped we could make it work. You told me they thought she was no good for you. What do they think now? What do you think now? Do you ever EVER feel bad that you said those things to me and now don't even want to talk to me? Does it EVER bother you that you said somethings to me that you didn't mean? Are all men like you?

In all this heartache, I really, really wanted (after the affair was over) I really wanted to try to make a life with the man I married, but I don't see how, when he seems to be as callous as all the rest of the men I have ever met.

I really don't see a reason to be here, really don't. I can't come up with one thing to write on my therapy homework of 4 things each day to give myself credit for. I just really don't. I am such a nothing. I am nothing to you and nothing to him, and why do I care?


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poster:AdaGrace thread:402596
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/402596.html