Posted by AdaGrace on September 24, 2004, at 11:22:05
In reply to Re: How can I fall in love with my husband again, posted by AdaGrace on September 24, 2004, at 11:05:02
My husband just wants me back to "normal". The way I was 10 years ago, fat, and pretending to be happy with my situation in life. He doesn't want me skinny, he doesn't want me to drink or smoke, that would be "sinful and whorish". He doesn't want me to voice my opinions or unhappyness. He just wants me to be happy, and I'm not. He wants the dump he married, not the person I am today. I blame myself for my situation, though. I married the first man who paid attention to me, and quite frankly I don't even know if I loved him them, I certainly didn't know what love was. I don't think I love him now, but I want to try to get along for the kids sake, and I want to try to be happy, I just don't know how. I don't know where to start. All I can think about it how my life could have been. Maybe how it could have been with the other man. But I know that was impossible anyway. He was untrustworthy, and I gave him all my love and attention, and he abused that, I realize that now. I just opened my heart up and was so vulnerable to his charm and sweet words. I can't believe that I was so stupid to think that I was deserving of that. I don't know where to go from here, I really don't. I don't love my husband, I don't have the other man's love anymore, If I ever did have it that is... and I feel like a stranger in my own home. I am so lost right now.
poster:AdaGrace
thread:394048
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/394511.html