Posted by raindrop on September 20, 2004, at 18:47:12
Hi All,
I have created an awful situation and I am open to feedback, positive or negative... I have been with my fiance for 2.5 years (have a ring, but no date). I have allowed this man to yell at me, say cruel things to me, lie to me, berate me, criticize me, judge me, the works. No physical abuse.
HOWEVER, he has been much nicer lately. And, he is making some money: i allowed him to put 20K down on a new car for me, and he is paying to have my house painted (5K).
I have no sexual desire for him anymore. I am bored senseless. I want out. He lives with me, so I would have to ask him to move out. I feel so guilty because I am NOT doing the right thing. I am sooooo out of integrity with myself.
I know this is sick, but part of me feels justified in taking the material items; like I am making him pay for the verbal abuse.
What can I do to make this situation right?
How do I communicate to him I don't want to be with him anymore? I want to get clear inside myself, and with the Universe (what can I do to rise above the crap I am pulling and be an honest and loving human being again?). I am confused, mixed up, feeling like a monster, and scared.Okay, I'm ready to listen to comments.
raindrop.
poster:raindrop
thread:393119
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/393119.html