Posted by AMB on March 19, 2013, at 7:17:33
In reply to Re: Transference with psychiatrist, posted by baseball55 on March 18, 2013, at 19:30:54
> If he's a skilled therapist, you should be able to talk to him about this. It's not clingy to call him if you need him unless he objects that you call too much. I saw a p-doc for eight years for therapy and developed such intense transference that I couldn't help but talk about it because just seeing him would make me cry. It wasn't romantic though. It was more like I wanted him to be my father. I think a romantic transference would be more painful and hard to discuss, but it's good to discuss it. You need to get it out in the open with both him and your female therapist, so it's not eating you up inside.
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> Like I said, any skilled therapist (including p-docs) is trained to expect and deal with this with compassion and empathy while maintaining reasonable boundaries.
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> I also saw two therapists for a few years -- him and a female DBT therapist. It helped a lot to talk to her about it, because I felt like talking to him about it just made me feel more dependent on him. Therapy can be intense.
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> Well, you've done it before, so you know.Thank you baseball55 for your support...
I see him with a DBT therapist as well, and I find it is helpful to have both. Initially I was quieter with him, not sharing as much but over the last year have become much more open and comfortable sharing with him - except this. It did seem to coincide with my discovery of him on the dating site. Since we had this unspoken thing in common, and he was the one who encouraged me to join the site, we would talk about my experiences sometimes and how to tweak my profile. There was attraction but he also felt like an ally, we had this secret personal detail in common. And I really wouldn't want a relationship as I know it would only turn out badly and actually weird in a way. I think it's a combo of a family-brotherly feeling, though the thought of him dating makes me jealous. So it is a wierd combo of both. I never told my femail therapist I saw him online out of respect for his privacy, but I imagine if he's online it's not a real secret and I shouldn't worry. But I am obsessed and until recently would check his online profile, whether or not he was online could indicate if he was dating or not. So instead of being jealous of a wife, I'm obsessing about him out flirting or dating other women that could be me. A very unusual situation I suspect. I was devasted with the loss of my childhood pdoc and have been unable to bond with one again until now. So I am afraid I'll lose him too. But you are right in that keeping it inside is tearing me up. And as an adult with children, it is hampering me from staying focused on the important things in my life (I am a parent and my ex is trying to work things out). The only escape from this fantasy is getting it out in the open with him. He is kind and supportive in personality, but can be a little too direct (not necessarily skilled in therapy) though I like that about him and it usually is a good thing. But this is different and with my dependent personality issues, that can make all the difference in how it's handled. I certainly wont tell him I check up on him online, that would be weird for him I'm sure, but the rest I do imagine he could handle. I just lack the courage!
poster:AMB
thread:1040555
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20130309/msgs/1040632.html