Posted by Annabelle Smith on December 11, 2010, at 21:01:04
In reply to Re: thoughts and over-attachment/ idealization, posted by Solstice on December 11, 2010, at 20:45:29
Thanks, Solstice,
but oops...I don't think I was clear. When I said "work" with him, I meant work as in "continue to be in therapy" with him-- the work of being in therapy. My therapist sometimes refers to therapy as "work."
While he was at the counseling center, he also maintained a private practice on the side. When he left the center, he went to full-time private practice. He offered his clients at the center (including me) the opportunity to continue to do therapy with him in his private practice. The only thing would be that there would be a fee, whereas if I stayed at the counseling center, I could see a new therapist for free. Because I didn't realize how attached I was to him-- I thought the feelings would go away-- and because I am not that wealthy, I thought it would be best to stay at the center and work with a therapist there. This did not work out-- remember back to all of the posts we exchanged about what you called the toxic T? I ended up going back into therapy with the original therapist in his private practice, paying what is for me a do-able fee now on a sliding scale.
The jealousy comes in that there were some students who were clients of his at the center who went straight to doing therapy with him in his private practice and were not transferred to a new therapist. That's what I wish I had done. He gave me the choice, and I feel like I made the wrong one and am jealous of the others who got to have the sessions this past fall that I wish I had also gotten to have.
Also, I wouldn't say that I am jealous of those with a more permanent relationship to him-- I don't want that. I am just jealous of the other students who got to be in therapy with him longer when that is what I needed to, but just made the wrong choice.
Thanks for you thoughts. Sorry I wasn't clear.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:973063
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/973222.html