Posted by workinprogress on November 8, 2010, at 1:13:17
In reply to Re: ? for long term therapy folks... Dinah, Lucie, etc, posted by Daisym on November 7, 2010, at 11:24:13
Daisy,
Well, I'm a woman and I'm gay and my therapist is a woman... BUT... in terms of fantasies and such, I feel so small and she is so my MOM. :)
As for the last bit in your post... yes, it is big. A lot of people don't even "go there". So, I know it's a big deal to be brave enough to risk the struggle. And I have accomplished lots:
* I can identify and name feelings (feelings are actually FELT... which I had no concept of)
* I can identify and correct black and white thinking (sometimes!!!)
* I have lots and lots of healthy coping mechanisms to keep me from "flooding" (thinking through my feelings, yoga, breathing, going for a walk, telling myself the feelings will pass like the weather, etc)
* I am aware of and can sometimes stop/correct negative self talk
* I know about differentiation
* I recognize when I'm being a victim/looking for places to be abandoned
* I can sometimes recognize that I am assuming that because I feel a certain way about myself other people must as well (not true)None of that was stuff I could do before... or even had a clue about. They probably seem like simple things listed out here, but for me they are not. I am much more grounded. I am much more aware. And I am much more myself. Hell... I HAVE a self!
This secure attachment stuff is kind of the holy grail... I just want it D*** it!!! ;)
Anyway... enough for now. I have to get to bed so I can get up for my new job tomorrow (I'm taking an hourly job so that I can go back to school- when I was salaried I had more freedom to come and go).
xo
WIP
>
> I think it might also be a bit of a different struggle when your therapist is a man because adult attraction comes into play as well - but maybe not. But add those feelings to the already complicated little kid feelings and wow - give yourself a break for struggling with this. It is a huge thing to be willing to engage in the struggle at all. And I guess I'd encourage you to not minimize all that you've accomplished just because it is still uncomfortable or gets uncomfortable. I think that is just realistically, part of all relationships.
>
poster:workinprogress
thread:968902
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/969112.html