Posted by lucielu2 on November 1, 2010, at 21:27:28
In reply to Wordlessness, posted by Daisym on October 31, 2010, at 23:10:10
Daisy, that does sound like a type of depression. I think I have felt something like what you are feeling. There have been times in my therapy where I have felt lost in time and space, as you say, in some sort of wordless distress. The loss of connection seemed so profound, it didn't seem reasonable to even look for it, if that makes any sense. In order to keep the dialogue going, so to speak, during those times I usually would try to write about something and bring it in. Sometimes I would just paint and bring that in. I would just bring in things and not try so hard to speak or work during the therapy hour, because I knew that would be counterproductive. For me, those spells have always resolved with time. One interesting observation I have made is that after I've "returned," it is as if some work was being done in my right brain while I was "away." Usually this has opened up a new area for me. I don't know if this is the case for you, but sometimes this can be a sign of change in the wind. Could things be changing in your life or therapy somehow and maybe you haven't connected all the dots yet?
> I find myself tongue-tied all the time now - in and out of therapy. I don't know if I am spending too much time alone, or if the burdens of running a business in a world that doesn't value children and families is taking this toll. I don't feel...anything really. I know I've slid back into a depression but this is sort of wordless tomb. I seem to have forgotten how to talk.
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> One of the challenges this brings is the inability to talk to my therapist. He is willing to sit in the silence but it isn't a connective, productive silence. It feels like I'm scrambling around in my head, trying to find a subject that comes complete with a narrative. He said he finds himself asking questions when he should probably be quiet, but the depth of my wordless distress is hard for him too. I feel like Dinah - I don't want to hear that. It makes it worse that I'm making him feel bad too.
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> So tomorrow I have a session. Ironically, I actually have a touch of laryngitis, (Freud would have a field day with that). I've picked up and put down the phone twice to cancel. I know that I should go and tell him this - again. But it makes my stomach hurt to think of just sitting there again. I really need some help and suggestions.
poster:lucielu2
thread:967870
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/967992.html