Posted by Daisym on October 31, 2010, at 23:10:10
I find myself tongue-tied all the time now - in and out of therapy. I don't know if I am spending too much time alone, or if the burdens of running a business in a world that doesn't value children and families is taking this toll. I don't feel...anything really. I know I've slid back into a depression but this is sort of wordless tomb. I seem to have forgotten how to talk.
One of the challenges this brings is the inability to talk to my therapist. He is willing to sit in the silence but it isn't a connective, productive silence. It feels like I'm scrambling around in my head, trying to find a subject that comes complete with a narrative. He said he finds himself asking questions when he should probably be quiet, but the depth of my wordless distress is hard for him too. I feel like Dinah - I don't want to hear that. It makes it worse that I'm making him feel bad too.
So tomorrow I have a session. Ironically, I actually have a touch of laryngitis, (Freud would have a field day with that). I've picked up and put down the phone twice to cancel. I know that I should go and tell him this - again. But it makes my stomach hurt to think of just sitting there again. I really need some help and suggestions.
poster:Daisym
thread:967870
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/967870.html