Posted by Dinah on August 25, 2010, at 7:08:30
In reply to Re: Deja Vu with therapist, posted by widget on August 25, 2010, at 4:14:51
I don't think people are trying to say you're a bad therapy client. I think people are just concerned that you are in such distress, and worried that the distress will likely continue because while there are things that a therapeutic relationship *can* be, there are also things it can't be.
So many of us have felt similar things as you have, and have struggled with the limitations of the therapeutic relationship. I think people just want to share those realizations and acceptance that have helped them to find some peace, and reduced their distress. It's strange, but giving up hope (and grieving what can't be) can lead to peace, and ultimately to hope of a different kind.
But such realization and acceptance can take time to seep from an intellectual to an emotional level.Perhaps if you think of what people offer to you as a sharing of their own experiences and pain rather than criticism, it would help you feel better about their contributions?
A therapist's stance of unconditional positive regard can mimic love, and be confusing to clients. In some ways I suppose it is love. But in other ways, it isn't and can't be.
poster:Dinah
thread:959593
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100706/msgs/959759.html