Posted by Daisym on March 17, 2010, at 0:59:52
In reply to Re: Why do I need my therapist? » Daisym, posted by Dinah on March 5, 2010, at 8:53:38
I think what you say makes a lot of sense. I "pre-grieve" this relationship all the time. And the more important it becomes to me, the less I can imagine not having it.
When I freaked out over cutting back, part of that was because it felt like the beginning of the end. One part of my brain felt ready, but my younger parts fragmented pretty badly. So does that mean I won't be ready until those parts are gone or integrated? Or maybe I won't be ready until my therapist is done - I'll have to have no other choice in order to come to terms with it.
What I do know is that once we agreed that up ending things wasn't working for me right now, the anxiety died way down and i felt functional again. I guess that tells me that I'm not ready to pull away - even as staying connected feels very dangerous.
So does that mean I still "need" my therapist? Here is one of the paradox's in all of this - I want to make my therapist happy. One of the ways to do this is to help him feel successful. If I was "cured" or better, or whatever, he would be successful - and therefore happy. I can't give him this gift. How selfish is that?
poster:Daisym
thread:938580
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100303/msgs/939773.html