Posted by antigua3 on September 25, 2009, at 14:40:19
In reply to Need help understanding these tears, posted by Daisym on September 24, 2009, at 1:07:36
Oh, Daisy, it hurt so much to read this, to know that you are hurting so much, and to recognize and feel those feelings, too.
You described the complex set of feelings so well as horrible as they are when you are in the midst of them.
Maybe you're in one of those push-pull times when you are testing him with all your might, but at the same time you want to be loved and cared for? Just like we did as children, but we didn't have the firm boundaries that our Ts have? But we need to know those boundaries are safe, and that your "specialness' with your T is a different kind of specialness, a very safe and trusting one, a place where you can let all these feelings out and you won't be judged. Because your T is not judging you; he never judges you. You are so lucky because you do know in your heart that he does care very much, but he will never cross those boundaries and as much as you want a special piece of him, you're developing new ways to define that "special piece." It's not the destructive one you experienced as a child or young girl; it's one that is very firm for our own safety. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to trust him as much.
Pls take care. I wish I could help more.
Keep posting if it helps. Do something nice this weekend.
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:918256
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/918459.html