Posted by Dinah on September 24, 2009, at 10:28:09
In reply to Re: Need help understanding these tears » Daisym, posted by Dinah on September 24, 2009, at 10:20:53
I sorta wish he'd hug you.
I know it's his boundary, but to me it seems a boundary that ends up being more seductive than a hug. It makes his touch seem like something so wonderful and so forbidden that he must deny it to his clients, or that he might find clients sexually appealing enough that he has to deny them contact for fear of falling into their spell.
I know those aren't his reasons. And I do honor anyone's boundaries, for whatever reasons they put them up. If he wouldn't feel comfortable, a hug would be a negative experience for both of you. I don't like to be touched, and I really appreciate it when others respect that.
I just think it's an unfortunate situation. My therapist does hug, whenever I ask for one, though he's quit asking me if I would like one when I seem upset after I answered no on a few occasions. Don't get me wrong. His hugs are great in the way that only the hugs of a really big man can be. The sort of hug that my cousin gave me at Daddy's funeral. But they aren't magic, and being able to have them made them seem less compelling.
poster:Dinah
thread:918256
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/918294.html