Posted by onceupon on March 25, 2009, at 9:44:57
In reply to does anyone remember feeling suicidal?? (trigger), posted by obsidian on March 24, 2009, at 22:36:50
I don't feel suicidal right now, but I have in the past, and so yes, I experience it as a memory. I agree with you that it's an odd experience (both feeling suicidal and having the memory of it).
The memory of it is almost visceral for me. It's not just a series of thoughts, but a feeling in my head. Or maybe it's about how my perceptions feel. IDK, it's hard to explain, I guess. Thinking about it has never really been scary for me, though. There have been times when not thinking about it seemed scarier, in that I felt much more trapped in my situation. Like Daisy said, it was the ultimate escape.
Maybe the greater challenge is to have the memory, when feeling suicidal, of what it's like not to feel that way. Hmm...now you've got me thinking. I wonder how one could cultivate and keep that memory.
It is endlessly fascinating to me that suicidal states can be brought about through biochemical means too, as Scott discussed. Makes me think of the human brain as kind of an odd duck, for which just the right (or wrong) combination of chemicals can induce it to turn on itself.
poster:onceupon
thread:886889
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/886924.html