Posted by SLS on March 25, 2009, at 7:20:46
In reply to does anyone remember feeling suicidal?? (trigger), posted by obsidian on March 24, 2009, at 22:36:50
> like I mean your state of mind when that seemed to be like a good idea.............
>
> if that's how you're feeling it's hard to imagine it as a memory
> like at certain points I've thought, my life can't get any worse than this
> but I don't think like that all the time
> but I remember thinking about suicide, but it's almost always scared the crap out of me
Good thing.In the past, I have reached the point of concluding logically that autoeuthanasia was my inevitable, yet humane, fate. However, it scared me, too, and although I have been truly suicidal states, I have never made a plan or researched ways of accomplishing such a goal painlessly.
For many people suffering from a depressive disorder, they are plagued by a neurochemical suicidal state that is unrelated to their content of thought. It is a dark, cold, and oppressive experience. That is why a drug like Zyprexa can relieve one's mind of suicidal thinking. It attacks the dysfunctional neurobiology responsible for it. This kind of suicidality is most often associated with significant anger or anxiety. One actually "feels" suicidal, not just thinks suicidally.
I have been content and very far from suicide when trying a new drug, only for that drug to produce a severe exacerbation of my depression with attendant suicidal feelings and suicidal thinking. Relief was immediate upon the cessation of the handful of drugs that did this to me.
On another note, depression can alter one's thoughts and feelings such that decision-making becomes difficult. The more severe the depression, the more one's judgment becomes skewed towards negative thinking and outlook. It is not a good state to be in when contemplating a major life decision. So, the more severe the depression, the more skewed the cognition. The more skewed the cognition, the more depressed one becomes. It is a positive feedback loop (which in this case, is a very negative).
This is why a severe depression can come on so quickly. People often call it "spiralling down". I think it is worth seeking out psychological tools to help prevent this downward plunge.
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:886889
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/886912.html