Posted by wittgensteinz on February 23, 2009, at 16:32:22
In reply to Is There Anyone Here In Love With Their Therapist?, posted by sassyfrancesca on February 23, 2009, at 10:05:53
If I am honest, what I really want to say is "Get out now - run as fast as you can! Get a new T, maybe a female T, to work through all of this!" but I know this would be no easy thing to do. Don't you think there is a chance your being in love with this man is inhibiting your chance of having other men (another man) in your life?
Do you think your T knows full well how dependent you are on him, emotionally, and does he do anything to encourage this? Is he still doing 'therapy' - you say you have worked through the issues you came to him with. I know in some sense you know this is wrong and you know you are the victim but in another sense you are enmeshed and can't escape and don't really want to. It's hard.
Whatever this man gives you emotionally, you deserve much better and there is something much better, and far truer in real life, outside the therapy room.
Have you ever thought of starting seeing another T, perhaps a female T, to help process what is and has gone on between you and your T? You don't have to take action against him, but maybe this would help you set down boundaries - maybe even help you move on if you wanted to.
As for the question: I'm not in love with my T. I feel a close attachment to him and have experienced transference of various kinds but that's what it is - I've never believed/thought for a moment that I could be with him i.e. being his wife or lover. It's a very different situation from what you describe. My T is an old man who has his own life, which I know relatively little about. Of course I react to HIM but much of my experience is based on transference reactions. With your T you know his feelings - you know they are mutual feelings, so you know that your feelings are not mere projections. He has shown himself and in doing so has stepped out of his role as therapist.
Witti
poster:wittgensteinz
thread:881879
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/881969.html