Posted by Dinah on February 5, 2009, at 11:29:19
In reply to Re: Testing our relationships with our Ts (long), posted by antigua3 on February 5, 2009, at 11:09:36
I'm sure you're aware of this yourself, but I'm struck with the difference in how you describe your pdoc in different posts.
At first I definitely got the impression that he was incapable of giving you what you needed from him. Then I heard things from you that made me think that he was indeed capable of being caring and warmish (not warm precisely).
I know it's true of everyone that their opinion shifts about others in their lives. Certainly when I came out of my session Tuesday my primary thought was that he was a jerk who really couldn't possibly care about me. But if I try to balance that view with other views of my therapist I can't really hold on to that picture.
If you try to hold both images of your pdoc in your mind, are you able to meld them together into a synthesis that makes sense to you?
For example, my therapist has a lousy memory, can be defensive and so dense that it's hard to believe it isn't on purpose. Yet he can also be gentle and teasing and warm and wise. He totally loses his head in a crisis of his own, yet he is able to be a strong supportive and steady presence in my life. Even though his life is far less stable than mine. His optimism and self confidence are nearly delusional, yet he is great at admitting when he has made a mistake. Sometimes he is distant and impatient and even angry with me. Yet these things can happen without affecting our relationship as a whole. The things that make him infuriating to me are also the things that make him valuable to me.
If you were to take some posts from a while back with positive descriptions of your pdoc and your posts today, is it possible that both are true? How would you combine them?
Although admittedly my memory may be way off.
poster:Dinah
thread:878199
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/878216.html