Posted by lucie lu on December 29, 2008, at 15:24:52
In reply to Isolation, loneliness, and one-sided friendships, posted by Racer on December 23, 2008, at 11:36:08
Racer,
This is such a horrible time of year in many ways. Even when we can otherwise stand having too few social contacts, the holiday season just nails you with feelings of loneliness. And then it seems like whatever contacts we have, can be difficult. Sound sufficiently Scrooge-ish?
I understand that cyber-friends are different from RL friends. I hope you do feel connected with your cyberfriends, because I know you have many. But I also know that RL is different. If I knew you in RL even to the extent that I do on babble, I know that you would be a person I would like to have as a friend. So often, a potentially terrific friendship could be just around the corner, the problem is how to connect.
I am not literally alone now and if figuratively so, that's another story. I have lived alone and been alone at those times. I really think the advice offered by others here to volunteer is about the best. I found that simply being at work was not enough because people were there out of necessity; they might or might not want to be friends but we were all there because we needed a paycheck. But volunteering is a labor of love, and sharing that can create strong connections between people. It can also help us to connect with the strongest and healthiest parts of ourselves, and when we help others (two-legged or four-legged), we get so much back. Hobby-based groups are good too, since they do bring together people of similar interests. And of course, some people find that faith-based groups and activities forge strong and enduring connections as well.
I'm sorry that you are feeling so isolated, Racer. I do wish that sometimes there was more overlap between cyber and RL. Then you'd get "credit" for all of the good things you've done and for all of the good will from others that you have earned by just being you. Jammies and all ;)
((((((((((Racer)))))))))))
Hugs,
Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:870481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/871316.html