Posted by rskontos on December 11, 2008, at 11:33:50
In reply to Re: Dissociation and me As I see it (triggers-mayb » muffled, posted by B2chica on December 11, 2008, at 8:05:34
For me, the feelings of strong, when I feel strong and whole are so seldom I notice them. And then I get sad for I realize how seldom I feel that way. And then of course, the world goes tunnel vision. I really hate the tunnel thing most of all. Because usually that is when I leave. I guess it is a threat for me to feel strong. I don't know.
I tried to read a little of the book that was recommened by Daisym for the poster's whose girlfriend as having flashbacks. I got too sad. It is funny how quickly strong feelings go bad and turn to sad.
Like today, I was on another site and quickly I felt alone and invisible. Until I read a post directed to me. I realized how easily we misconstrue things in our minds. If I had not seen that post to me, I would have let the site feeling rejected.For the most part I don't feel depressed just numb. Maybe that is depression I don't know. I asked my p-doc/t if I was depressed and he said no. I don't seem to have highs and lows just dull flat boringness. You know like the flat line on the monitor. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But if often means if I get triggered I go up too fast or down too fast. That gets messy.
That is what t is trying to help me with. So far we are only making ok progress I think. Not really sure.
He says I don't see progress but he does. So I will take his word.
But then again he doesn't see me out in public or at home. For when I melt down.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:867558
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081205/msgs/868073.html