Posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on November 30, 2008, at 16:16:38
In reply to Re: I am hating what therapy is bring out in me » SlugSlimersSoSlided, posted by seldomseen on November 30, 2008, at 14:47:28
oh, Seldom, if you could see my tears in my eyes from reading your post. It sounds like you have been where I am because you get what I am talking about. It feels so unsurmountable right now, and the the pain goes very deep. I had no idea all that pain was within me. It may just be the beginning too, and that scares me.
In my last session when I was disclosing how I feel alone when I am in grief, I had trouble even getting it out. I said I wanted her to sit next to me or SOMETHING to know that I wasn't alone when suffering my crying and sadness. My voice cracked through my tears, I said it was very hard to ask for what I need because I know there are boundaries in therapy. Maybe the fact that I got up the courage to ask for what I needed in order to go through this, maybe it is a sign that I am ready to do it. After disclosing this, I felt myself become very angry at myself for asking. She saw the look in my eyes and it kinda froze her or she sure took notice that is. I think she knew something was triggered in me and saw it first hand.She knew I had to come down from all the emotions which she did beautifully.
I was then crying because it felt so good to be comforted by her. It was very empowering for me.
I bared my soul to her, and she handled it with care, and she didn't hurt me like what I was used to.
It reminded me of when I first got my guinea pigs and my cockatiel. They were so afraid, and did what their instincts taught them naturally, to stay away. But eventually with time, love, and trust, they overcame their instincts to not be so afraid of me, and now they look forward to the attention. Maybe I can be as brave as them.
poster:SlugSlimersSoSlided
thread:865878
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865945.html