Posted by Nadezda on October 2, 2008, at 17:49:48
In reply to Do you know where your T....?, posted by JayMac on October 2, 2008, at 16:15:44
I know where my T lives, but I've only been around there when I needed to go to that part of town. Still, it was at a time when I had a relatively unformed relationship and was in the throes of the whole "how does he really feel about me" --the "is this relationship real--and what does it mean" conundrum. So it felt intrusive and weird to be walking down a street a block from where he lived-- even if it was innocently-- it didn't feel innocent at all, because, I guess, I was so caught up in what felt like illicit thoughts and desires.
I'm not sure if I ever felt drawn to going there-- possibly I did-- but I was either too lazy, or too afraid-- or both-- to carry it out. And, I think, the relationship was doing enough, even at the time, for me to feel that it wasn't somehow that important-- I wouldn't get what I was already getting from our time together.
I don't think, unless there are additional issues around that,--or your T feels insecure with her own boundaries-- that your knowing this would be such a huge issues. But you never know. Some Ts have anxieties that someone will somehow suck them dry, or haunt them to the grave-- or something like that-- and become defensive or uncomfortable with a patient's having "found out."
But, one's home address isn't such a mystery (especially to oneself)-- and it's common knowledge, an everyday thing, to their friends and acquaintances and colleagues. It doesn't have the magical or secret quality that it might have to us--until we endow it with special power.. And by extension, knowing it doesn't give a patient any power to "do" anything to her.
I said something and my T was okay with it-- which made it more okay for me. Given that you're concerned that she might be threatened, maybe you should check it out-- If she's relaxed about it, that might make it less dangerous to know; and the knowledge itself would seem more ordinary and safe.
If you think, realistically, that your T would react badly though--that's a dilemma. If she did have a problem, it might suggest something about how you two are relating though-- because, unless you're stalking her-- which you aren't-- it really isn't anything so bad. If you drove by once-- it's also not so bad. Or maybe it is? it all depends on how it affects you... Do you feel compelled or tempted in some way to do it? And if you did-- then what?
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:855293
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/855318.html