Posted by Partlycloudy on October 2, 2008, at 8:31:09
In reply to My T had the secretary call me, instead of him, posted by lemonaide on October 1, 2008, at 18:54:59
I have a couple of thoughts.
My current T doesn't have a secretary - all the appointment scheduling and money transactions go through her directly. Sometimes it takes a while for her to call me back when I leave her a message. Sometimes it can be a little bit awkward to to the "business" end of our relationship when we've had a heavy session - like, omg, I have to get out my calendar and my checkbook and I'm still crying kind of thing. But I think that doing this stuff directly with her, rather than with a secretary, is actually a good part of our relationship - it keeps me grounded in the reality that we have a multi-faceted, complex thing going on. I don't have to keep all the emotional stuff exclusively for dealing with her, and the dry, money or scheduling stuff with another, impartial third party - she does that stuff too. It keeps it all pretty real for me. I think it helps me with some of my attachment issues.
And - this is something that I think will be really helpful for you - I hope that you'll find that working with a female therapist will bring a new dimension into the therapeutic relationship for you. I've worked with male T's in the past, and find (I think because I've been so parched for maternal nurturing for most of my life) that I get so much more out of working with a female therapist. I literally feel sometimes that I've been in a desert looking for water, and that female therapists are like oases for me - really enriching and nourishing. That's been my experience, anyways. Of course I still go through the feelings of anger, frustration, and fear - but, more so, I find that tenderness and support play the much larger roles in therapy.
Just my thoughts. I hope I'm not pinning too much hope on this new T for you, but I think that you deserve a much better experience right now, and that you are ripe for it.
poster:Partlycloudy
thread:855089
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/855251.html