Posted by Nadezda on August 25, 2008, at 22:28:08
In reply to Need to be taken seriously, posted by wishingstar on August 25, 2008, at 21:03:16
There's really no foregone answer to your questions, WS. No one other than you can possibly make those judgments. You could feel any of those feelings about a T who is helping you, ultimately-- because they're coming from conflicts and fears, or patterns of handling things emotionally that are prevalent in your life. It isn't so much that you feel any of them, it's how they do or don't get worked out, over time with your T that matters.
If your T can respond well enough to give you better experiences despite, or through responding to, these times,-- then you can reshape responses and this all can be turned to constructive ends. If the feelings come up and the two of you become stuck in them, until they become yet another iteration of the trauma-- then they will have been part of a destructive cycle yet again.
The question of where the point is when you know that what's happening is the latter, rather than an opening to the former (ie that it's a destructive cycle, rather than part of a more constructive turn)-- is a very hard question for anyone to answer. I've been through terribly hard times with my T, when I had all the worst and most hopeless feelings about my relationship with him-- and felt that I needed desperately to end it, to protect myself. But over time, these things did get worked out-- even though in the middle of them, I was sure that they never could be.
It really is hard-- unbelievably hard-- and an act of faith-- to keep on going until you suddenly come to realize that you've grown and changed-- or you have the realization that there isn't anything to have faith in. But you really, really are the only one who can stick with it, to find those truths for yourself.
I feel bad for you though because I've been there. I know how confusing and scary it is to be in the midst of all this. I hope you find a way to move forward, to persevere as best you can, despite simply not knowing what can come of it.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:848324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/848333.html