Posted by raisinb on August 18, 2008, at 11:12:58
In reply to Update: Termination because of strong transference, posted by nebulae on August 17, 2008, at 21:59:57
I am so, so sorry you are having to go through this. When I read your post, I got a stomachache thinking about how painful this rejection must be.
I don't know the full story of what happened between you and your therapist. But it seems that he's been triggered and can't work out the feelings your phone call brought out in him. Sometimes this happens. Sometimes therapists just have weak spots that hurt their clients.
It sounds as if he's trying to make this separation your fault ("you're not willing to work on these issues") when that's obviously not the case, which probably means he's feeling guilty. I hope that you do not take these statements to mean the termination *is* your fault, though. You title your posts "termination because of strong transference," as if your feelings caused it--but they didn't. It is your therapist's weaknesses that caused this.
I know you don't want him to "drop" you, understandably. But as the pain gets better, maybe you should think about whether *you* should drop *him.* He's proven himself a therapist who cannot handle your most intense feelings without blaming and rejecting unjustifiably. If the relationship continues, will you be walking on eggshells in your sessions? I know I would. And that would cause a heck of a lot of repressed anger.
Good luck and try to take care of yourself during this difficult time. I'd encourage you to see other therapists. Lots of them have sliding scales and there are clinics. Often, in these community clinics, there are hidden therapist "gems"--a close friend of mine has one. She's never paid more than five bucks for a therapy session, and she loves her therapist. The good ones *are* out there and you deserve one who will truly help you.
poster:raisinb
thread:846918
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/846998.html