Posted by sassyfrancesca on August 15, 2008, at 16:48:01
In reply to Re: pdoc update**poss sa trigger**REALLY LONG » sassyfrancesca, posted by antigua3 on August 15, 2008, at 16:40:14
> Yes, I missed what was really going on in the room; I was too afraid to see/or even look at him, and I wouldn't let him talk, cutting him off because I thought I knew where he was headed. I got that sense, sweetie.
>
> Just to be clear, my shame was about allowing myself to respond to a current situation in the same compliant way I did as a child, and not being able to react differently because I was reacting as the child and not as the adult I propose to be! If that makes any sense...It makes TOTAL sense; you were obviously programmed to react that way, and just because you are an adult is no reason to expect to act another way. We may be adults, but we have childhood stuff still in there.....
>
> I'm not being facetious (sp?), but why was that brave? It was brave to tell someone you didn't know, and have that trust. THAT is brave.I would say that to anyone else, too, but I don't see it as brave for me. I see it as stupid. I'm at a risk because he knows this about me now. How am I going to protect myself??
Not sure what you mean by "protect yourself"--can you explain?
>
> Yes, when I had another male T about five years ago, I guess I freaked him out (his own issue, I was finally able to accept, although that took time) and he terminated me very abruptly, like instantaneously.Very cruel, AND unethical.
>
> Understanding and compassionate? Never before would I have put those words with this man, but I guess I've been fighting it so long. I've never been able to see situations clearly--another effect from my lovely childhod.I know. I had one of those (abused verbally and physically by my mother (never knew my father), and molested, blah, blah.......
I hope you will get the courage to see him and start the dialogue again; you may find him healing, and isn't that what we ALL need.
Love, Sassy
> You are so kind to respond.
> thanks,
> antigua
poster:sassyfrancesca
thread:846433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/846456.html