Posted by antigua3 on August 15, 2008, at 16:40:14
In reply to Re: pdoc update**poss sa trigger**REALLY LONG, posted by sassyfrancesca on August 15, 2008, at 15:44:23
Yes, I missed what was really going on in the room; I was too afraid to see/or even look at him, and I wouldn't let him talk, cutting him off because I thought I knew where he was headed.
Just to be clear, my shame was about allowing myself to respond to a current situation in the same compliant way I did as a child, and not being able to react differently because I was reacting as the child and not as the adult I propose to be! If that makes any sense...
I'm not being facetious (sp?), but why was that brave? I would say that to anyone else, too, but I don't see it as brave for me. I see it as stupid. I'm at a risk because he knows this about me now. How am I going to protect myself??
Yes, when I had another male T about five years ago, I guess I freaked him out (his own issue, I was finally able to accept, although that took time) and he terminated me very abruptly, like instantaneously.
Understanding and compassionate? Never before would I have put those words with this man, but I guess I've been fighting it so long. I've never been able to see situations clearly--another effect from my lovely childhod.
You are so kind to respond.
thanks,
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:846433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/846452.html