Posted by Nadezda on May 13, 2008, at 20:45:48
In reply to I woke up with stupor, posted by llurpsienoodle on May 13, 2008, at 20:17:01
Llurpsie, maybe this is more about your grieving for you kitty than the money.
Are you punishing yourself for grieving, for feeling this loss, for having perhaps not protected your kitty?
The money is an issue-- but I don't think it's the real issue at the moment. You'll have a job, and will be more responsible about the money. Maybe you were a bit hypomanic; maybe you had unexpected dental bills-- or didn't account as much for them as was best--
but the emotions about your kitty seem to have plunged you into the emotions of the moment, the self-blame and self-punishment.
And I think you should call your T if you're in this much pain-- whether you've paid him in a timely way or not.
And, by the way, you're not ripping him off-- you will pay him.-- Perhaps that's become another reason to punish yourself-- but you don't deserve this outpouring of blame.
It's important not to hurt yourself-- and not to deprive yourself of his help, if you need it. Try, if you possibly can, to reach out--- even if part of you doesn't want to.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:828931
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080508/msgs/828979.html