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Re:Guys what exactly does.... » rskontos

Posted by Dinah on May 6, 2008, at 20:44:23

In reply to Re:Guys what exactly does...., posted by rskontos on May 6, 2008, at 20:13:13

Well, I can't. :) I'm lousy at explaining.

I see things differently I think. I used to keep my eyes closed all through sessions because I could "see" him better that way.

I've got two ideas about it. One is the space between us. When we're both engaged, it's like when Voldemort's wand and Harry's wand cast spells at the same time, and a golden web of energy was created around them. When we're both engaged, the space between is is full of warmth and energy.

But the other explanation, which feels more right in this case, is that usually I can feel my therapist as open and receptive with a firm core. I can sort of psychicly feel way inside him and feel his reactions as easily as if he had neon signs on his forehead. When he's like this, there's a warm attentive exterior, but if I probe more deeply, there's nothing there. Just a wall. I can only go a little way in and I hit a wall.

I can't really explain it well. When I know someone well, I can startle them by being able to pick up their moods nearly instantly. (My son does this too.) Usually I'm like a tuning fork tuning into my therapist's every passing emotion. But not when he's like this. He's just gone. A smiling attentive fake therapist. :(

My therapist thinks this is very schizotypal of me. But he also admits that I'm pretty much always right about his moods, even if I guess wrong at what's causing them. How can it be a sign of a disorder if I'm *right*?

 

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