Posted by Daisym on May 3, 2008, at 14:21:26
In reply to guess I'm getting there *suicide trigs*, posted by raisinb on May 2, 2008, at 10:10:34
I'm not in a good place to respond to this because I relate so totally to what you wrote. Only for me, it isn't about pointless, it is about too hard, too much, etc.
All I can do is ask you some of the same questions that my therapist asks me: "Is there anything holding you here and if so, what is it? Who will be the most hurt if you take your own life? Who do you think will miss you and why?"
The other question is this: "Can you wait?" If it is the deceptive voice of depression whispering in your ear, then waiting allows this to ease off. Many times suicidal feelings are feelings that pass and really don't require action. If you can give yourself an hour, a day or a week, you might find more and more reasons for living, or at least, for not dying.
As far as your therapist, the harsh reality is that if you are intent on taking your life, no one can really stop you. Recognizing that it is up to you is kind of scary - it does not appeal to our desire to be rescued or taken care of. Only we can sort out what the message is in these impulses - is this a cry for help? Is this "I'm done" or is this the only way to really show how much you are hurting inside and how hopeless you feel? Can you find another way to convey this message - like writing it out - or is this the only way?
I don't believe God wants us to live in pain and unhappiness. But I'm not sure he wants us to give up on the possibility of happiness either. I wish I had THE answer to how to feel like we are living a life of purpose. I do know that starting where you are, with what you have, is the only way to begin to find your purpose.
I hope today is a better day for you.
Hugs,
Daisy
poster:Daisym
thread:826771
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/827007.html