Posted by seldomseen on April 18, 2008, at 16:53:00
In reply to Re: Mad as a hornet one minute, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 18, 2008, at 10:33:22
Well, here's the story in a nutshell. Over the past year or so, i have been doing very very well. My therapy had really helped me to recognize how my past was affecting my behaviour, all the transference issues had resolved, I had developed a community of friends and some pretty stable relationships. Both my T and I had decided that termination of therapy should be put on the table, and we were slowly decreasing the frequency of our sessions together. While no termination date had been set, it was something that we were moving toward. Frankly, I was feeling very well.
Then, about six months ago (it was Halloween in fact) I was seriously injured (think head injury) in a fall from a horse. The trauma from that injury triggered a lot of anxiety and general upset (being strapped to gurney, not be able to talk or move, sitting in the ER alone not knowing if I was going to live or die - you know some really really good stuff).
Still we were meeting less and less and things were fine.Nonetheless, I was still progressing along pretty well I thought. Therapy was still less and less of an issue. Then an incredible work stressor came up, which due to the cognitive impairments from the fall, I was very ill equipped to handle, but managed to do anyway.
Everything was fine.Then about three weeks ago I started dreaming. Really horrible vivid dreams of some really really horrible stuff. Then I started having all sorts of problems related to the dreams, intrusive thoughts into daily life, images, triggers the like.
So last week, I finally stepped up to the plate and finally took ownership of the fact that I had been sexually abused. I had hidden from it, buried it blah blah blah, but it was coming up for all to see. I think in part because of the trauma from the accident, but also because therapy had helped to removed most of the defenses that had kept it down. I do not have a full recollection of what occurred and it wasn't like "OH MY GOD I REMEMBER IT ALL" nothing like that. Just a very deep, very old knowledge that it was there. So time to process those very very painful feelings.
I need my therapist. He told me he would be there, but didn't schedule an appointment until one week later. A long time to sit with those feelings. One day I called, he could talk but for 30 seconds. The feelings began to escalate. I called for an emergency appointment, he couldn't see me, we tried to talk on the phone and the unmitigated disaster occurred. I've been reeling every since.
So no, he isn't helping. I'm going to directly ask for his help this monday.
And that's the story.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:823968
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/824075.html