Posted by raisinb on April 17, 2008, at 12:33:04
In reply to Confused and Hurt (possible trigger)~LONG~, posted by LadyBug on April 16, 2008, at 23:25:03
Hi LB--
I'm so sorry this happened to you. It sounds so, so painful.Here are my thoughts--
First, I think you're being too hard on yourself. "Huge mistakes" sounds like a lot of self-blame for sending one email, especially when you've had an 11-year relationship. I don't think you've done anything wrong.
Second, I agree with the other posters that your T is acting strange, that some personal issue seems to be getting in the way of your therapy. The clue for me is, she accused you of "letting your pain spill out all over." In therapy, this is, of course, exactly what we are supposed to do. The fact that she accused you of that as if it were a bad thing tells me that *she* is finding your sessions too painful to endure. I hear her implying, "you are infecting me with your pain!" Hence her wanting to limit contact with you.
This might be because of a personal issue, or it might be because she is overwhelmed by your suffering and feeling frustrated because she can't make it better, or a combination. In any case, your therapist, who is supposed to be objective enough to stand whatever comes up, is not doing her job.
It would be a shame to let this evaporate, though, without trying to work it out. If you can, can you hold off on making a decision? Perhaps over time the two of you can repair things.
poster:raisinb
thread:823715
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/823800.html