Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 9, 2008, at 15:38:08
In reply to Re: Hi, I'm new here...and confused about my thera » sassyfrancesca, posted by stellabystarlight on April 8, 2008, at 15:22:52
> Hi Sassyfrancesca,
>
> OMG...You've been in love with him for 5 years? How could you stand it for that long?I can't....my girlfriends are in awe of me (LOL, LOL)
I've only been seeing mine for 6 months and I was ready to throw myself at him at 3 months. I can't stand the pain anymore,
I know; I have had so many conversations about "us"--told him I would rather be in pain WITH him that in pain withOUT him.
so I've scheduled appointments with other counselors to somehow get myself out of this mess. He is driving me crazy with the back and forth.
I am living "back and forth"
I call it come here, go away...now I am professional, now I am not
He has gotten physical with me (no sex); wrestling, throwing on the couch (years ago)...he is as flirty and playful as I am.......
>
> Would you have an affair with him if he asked?In an instant, and he knows it; we have discussed it.
What is holding him back from being with you when he is so vocal about his feelings for you?
He is married (LOL)...he said: "If I were not married, I would probably go for it." He sexualized our relationship years ago (meaning innuendo, etc....but also touching).
>
> Talk to you soon.Okay, Stella!
Did I tell you we both went to the (American Counseling Association Convention in Hawaii?)....when I got back (1st appt. in 3 weeks), he almost "killed" me; told me he saw me FOUR times at the convention, but said nothing (the old stupid rule about not acknowledging a client unless they acknowledge you first).
He thought i looked right a him (not) and ignored him, because he knew I was angry with him for something he said a week before, and that I was "sending him a message."
He went to the dance fabulous hotel, etc.....(he had said he was NOT going), and said he was "looking for me." I was stunned; his ethics prevent him from saying hello, but he was looking for me and said "I would have danced with you."
HUH? Instead, he danced with another woman; I feel cheated, robbed and furious......he said: "I was alone in my hotel room, and you were alone in yours, and it was successful that we didn't hook up.......I was SO tempted to call him one night and just go to his room.
I could write a book at what has happened, and I don't know what keeps me from acting on my feelings...and I told him "fear of rejection.' I don't believe he would reject me.
Talk soon!
Hugs, Sassy
>
> Stellabystarlight
poster:sassyfrancesca
thread:821872
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/822417.html