Posted by raisinb on April 7, 2008, at 13:26:17
In reply to Re: Thank you for the welcome... » stellabystarlight, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2008, at 8:49:41
Hi Stella, welcome. Sorry to come late to this thread, and I'm sorry you have to deal with something so difficult.
It ounds like you know that the therapy is not as helpful to you as it should be, and that it may be in fact harmful. But knowing that, I'm sure, doesn't make it easier for you to leave a person who is important to you.
I agree with other posters that your therapist does not seem to be handling the relationship well. I obviously wasn't in the room with you, but his comments sound like they compromise safe therapeutic boundaries. At the very least, they've made you uncomfortable enough to question the treatment, and to post here.
I'd make two suggestions--first, I echo Dinah that getting a consultation with another therapist is a good idea. If you don't want to do it in person, there is a therapist named Kali Munro who does online consults. She was very helpful to me at a time when I was struggling with my own therapist.
Second, I think you might ask your therapist whether *he* is in supervision or consults with someone about you. Given the circumstances, it sounds as though he might need to, and I also think that under these circumstances, you have a right to know. If he says that he is, it might reassure you that though he is not handling things well now, he may be able to deal with his feelings and recover. Therapists are imperfect. They make mistakes, and sometimes they fail to separate their needs from their clients'. This can be fatal, as many people on this board can tell you. If they correct themselves, though, it need not be, and the repair of the relationship can be even more therapeutic than a "perfect" one (which doesn't exist anyway) would have been in the first place.
But, if it does not seem as though your therapist is or can go through this process of self-examination and recovery, you might want to consider getting a new one.
poster:raisinb
thread:821872
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/822051.html