Re: letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast » raisinb

Posted by crushedout on April 4, 2008, at 11:47:15

In reply to Re: letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast » crushedout, posted by raisinb on April 4, 2008, at 11:43:02

thanks, raisinb. i feel like you really heard me. :)
it's a tough thing to figure out. i'm not *positive* i did the right thing. mostly it has felt right, but of course i think i will never know for sure.
how do you learn from the painful feelings, though? what is there to learn? other than that life is painful and some things, no matter how hard, cannot be changed. :(

> Crushed, I'm sorry :( I guess it's difficult to get through such a big loss without *some* grief and sadness. So you're normal. But it sounds tough.
>
> When one of my relationships ends, I always feel better if I am in control of the rejection. That way *I'm* the one rejecting, rather than being reject-able, so at least I feel on top of the situation. Her letter may have felt like her rejecting you, so the loss becomes compounded with feeling bad about yourself.
>
> Talk therapy isn't for everybody. In fact, I often wonder if it's for me, because it exacerbates my tendency to analyze, analyze, analyze, and never *do* anything to create change (the Hamlet syndrome).
>
> You want your T and you can't have her. If she can't take you any farther than realizing that, maybe you're right that this therapy wasn't as helpful as it could have been? (I don't know, maybe you did learn some things about yourself from that? I haven't been in your therapy, so I don't know). But the idea is that you learn from these painful feelings--and not just to accept the feelings.

Thread

letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast crushedout 4/3/08
...
Re: i feel sick with grief when i think about it » Annierose crushedout 4/3/08
Re: One more thing ... crushedout 4/3/08
Re: One more thing ... » crushedout Annierose 4/3/08
Re: i feel sick with grief when i think about it » Dinah crushedout 4/3/08
Re: One more thing ... » Annierose crushedout 4/3/08
if that sounded sarcastic, it was unintended. (nm) crushedout 4/3/08
Re: i feel sick with grief when i think about it » crushedout Dinah 4/3/08
Re: i feel sick with grief when i think about it crushedout 4/3/08
Re: i feel sick with grief when i think about it » crushedout Dinah 4/3/08
Re: letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast Happyflower 4/4/08
Re: letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast » Happyflower crushedout 4/4/08
Re: letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast » crushedout raisinb 4/4/08
Re: letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast » raisinb crushedout 4/4/08
p.s. » crushedout crushedout 4/4/08
oops above post for raisinb (nm) crushedout 4/4/08
p.p.s. » raisinb crushedout 4/4/08
Re: letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast » crushedout raisinb 4/4/08
I emailed her crushedout 4/4/08
oops crushedout 4/4/08
Re: p.s. » crushedout raisinb 4/4/08
Re: letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast » raisinb crushedout 4/4/08
Re: i feel sick with grief when i think about it » Annierose Phillipa 4/4/08
Re: I emailed her » crushedout DAisym 4/4/08
Re: letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast » crushedout raisinb 4/4/08
Re: I emailed her » DAisym crushedout 4/4/08
...
Re: feeling a bit better now » crushedout Abby Cunningham 4/9/08

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080321/msgs/821537.html