Posted by crushedout on April 4, 2008, at 12:13:53
In reply to Re: letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast » crushedout, posted by raisinb on April 4, 2008, at 12:06:32
I guess I always have to have the last word. Here's what I wrote:Dear [ex-T],
I got your letter. I appreciate your keeping the lines open. However, I just want to point out a couple things while I still remember clearly what happened.
One is that the last three sessions I felt you were unable to hear me. The first one, especially. You accused of: violating your privacy; "bulldozing" you (still don't know what that means); "crossing a line" that you never told me existed; and not respecting you, among other things.
At the end of our last session, you made clear that you hadn't heard me throughout the entire session saying I did not KNOW whether I could handle a termination process with you (you heard somehow that I had decided I did not want one, even though I never said that). You also put a condition on participating in the termination process with me, which you did not inform me of until the very end of the session, which was that I not do anymore internet research about you or your family. Even if I were ok with this condition, I didn't feel it was appropriate to impose it on the termination process and I didn't think it was fair of you to inform me of it at the end of our session.
These attitudes and behaviors from you helped inform my decision not to continue, because I felt it would be more harmful than helpful.
I wish we could have ended on better terms, but I feel like I got out while I was still in one piece, and things have been going fairly well. I am still in treatment with Dr. Roth and I will certainly seek out therapy again if I need it. It was a very hard decision I made to terminate and I am still struggling with it.
I realize you are human and that you make mistakes sometimes. I wish you had worked out your feelings about my research on your own during the intervening week between my disclosure and your reaction. For the most part, I have found you to be extremely professional and I have appreciated your boundaries. I wish you had brought up the internet research as a problem much earlier and for my own benefit rather than your own. But I know you basically mean well, and you are a good person. I do believe that, and I will hold onto it.
[crushed]
poster:crushedout
thread:821411
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080321/msgs/821544.html