Posted by mair on March 28, 2008, at 21:43:05
In reply to Re: Why Do We Let This Stuff Bother Us?, posted by DAisym on March 27, 2008, at 14:51:23
" I think we react strongly to anything that suggests that we aren't held firmly in our therapist's mind - forgetting a conversation, getting details wrong, missing appointments suggests that we aren't front and center in their minds."
>
>" I also think it is a painful reminder that they are more important to us than we to them."These statements certainly strike a chord. I always seem to struggle so much with feeling comfortable with the T-patient relationship. With all of the rules and borders, it's very easy to decide you aren't important. Ironically, my T and I were just starting to get back on track. We've had a couple of sessions hashing over my feelings about her failure to say anything to me about my pdoc's husband's suicide (which i found out about from someone else). She (my T) was so shocked by it that she viewed it as an event in her personal life; not in her professional life. So it never occurred to her that there might be a spill-over. I had a hard time articulating what I thought she should have done and why. I kept telling her that I really didn't want to be a part of her personal life and I understood her need to place her professional life aside when she goes home every night. But still...
She finally articulated it pretty well by saying something about how I wanted to be important to her and to be someone that she sometimes thought about and was concerned about even when she wasn't at work.
I guess that's close. I'm being totally honest in saying that I don't want to be a participant in her personal life - but I don't like being reminded, either, of those barriers.
As to whether I went - see below.
mair
poster:mair
thread:819391
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080321/msgs/820414.html