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Re: Why Do We Let This Stuff Bother Us? » Phillipa

Posted by mair on March 26, 2008, at 21:33:26

In reply to Re: Why Do We Let This Stuff Bother Us? » mair, posted by Phillipa on March 26, 2008, at 19:05:05

Please don't misunderstand me. I think there are lots of times when we have very legitimate reasons to be upset. I can understand why Poet felt upset and I know what you're describing with your T would leave me feeling totally devastated. I'm sorry that happened.

My T once promised to email me her contact information before she went on vacation. I got an email from her the day she left with no message. It turns out the message was there - but through some sort of computer peculiarity, it was hard to find. But I thought the email to me was a rushed afterthought - that she sat down to write the email out of a sense of obligation but was so scattered and distracted trying to get ready to leave that she hit the "send" button without realizing that she hadn't actually written a message. I lived with that thought, miserably, for the next couple of weeks. After she got back and we sorted out what happened, I felt better, but it didn't really lessen the pain I felt while she was away.

I guess my point is that while it's easy to see how many miscommunications and misunderstandings can sting, no matter how unintended, it's harder for me to understand why they are so disquieting even when I feel more stable and even when I know deep down that the misunderstanding that caused the appointment glitch, had to be the simplest form of human error, and bore no reflection on how she cared about me or thought of me. I'm particularly curious because I know that the very same sort of miscommunication about an appointment with a different kind of doctor, or my dentist or accountant or lawyer, for instance, wouldn't carry with it anywhere near the same emotional weight.

Mair


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