Posted by DAisym on December 13, 2007, at 19:01:15
In reply to t said the F word possible trigger ?, posted by llurpsienoodle on December 13, 2007, at 18:44:38
I'm going to respectfully disagree with your therapist here. You do not have to forgive your dad. You might need to forgive yourself if you hold yourself in anyway responsible, but it doesn't sound like you do.
I think some things are unforgiveable. That doesn't mean you don't have a relationship with him, or that you overtly hate him, or something like that. But it never has to be OK that he hurt you. Never.
As far as "get over it" -- I hear this all the time, both from others and myself. But if it was as easy as that, don't you think you already would have? The process of acknowledging the trauma, and the consequences, both major and minor, takes time. And it takes a witness. This is one of those places where the person hurting makes others uncomfortable so they begin to wish the person who was hurting would stop hurting - or at least pretend to stop. But that doesn't help the hurt - and you are doing nothing wrong by hurting.
So don't push yourself too hard. It can sneak up on you...kind of gets opened up and than wham! there is more than you bargained for. Take time to come back to yourself. My son calls this therapy-hangover. Feels very much the same - like a train ran over you.
Take good care.
poster:DAisym
thread:800632
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/800638.html